Rants & More Rants

It’s been a long gap again at this space and this time I had a lot of time to write too .It was just that I didn't feel like writing , actually I didn’t feel like doing anything . Last few weeks again tested me by making me face some things which I really wanted to avoid .People say that I am strong and yes I am. Some people do face hardships so early in their life that they have no options other than being strong. It’s like either you break or choose to survive and I did survive. I never got things easily but then I literally fought for it. I do used to get jealous with people by looking how easy it is for some to get things (and I don’t mean materials, I mean happiness) and how difficult this is for me. But then I have left this feeling a long time back. The hardships for some just cease to stop and with time you realize how stupid it is to compare your life with others and add more pain to it .A sense of calm had prevailed since then and I was in my lone journey. Time nowadays is a bit grueling both at work and home. It’s like I go to work unhappily and come back unhappily. Politics has come out of the parliament and you can see the Chanakya’s chant not just in office but in your family and all across. I know that everybody’s work s@#$ at some point of time or other but after 3 long years of working, I still feel lost. People @ work, whom you have trusted and respected, have suddenly (& surprisingly) shown you their darker side like they do in Ekta Kapoor’s serial. The sense of calm is lost again and no it’s not jealousness, it’s hatred. Things are almost the same at home front. I fail to understand why people take excessive interest in other people’s life. My life and my doings are just accountable to my parents and nobody else. An extended family should remain extended.

I came to work with all these thoughts and happening yesterday. Left early and did what I love the most shopping! This time it was not for clothes or accessories but for grocery. I exceeded my budget for that, bought loads of unwanted and avoidable items. Then went home and cooked (I don’t know much of cooking but I am not a bad cook either ;)) and treated myself with three course mealJ. Lemon bhel for starter , Paneer masala , raita and parantha for the main course and ice-cream plus mangoes for desserts ! I ate without feeling guilty of the weight I am putting, without thinking of again going to the office after 8 hours and the other mess of life and then when I reached office today I just blogged it down . By the time I am writing this last line, I can feel the sense of calm again. God knows for how long it will prevail but right at this moment I feel light and for a change HAPPY J .