Confession of a confused soul :(

So i am back again and this time it's a good two months . It's never like i didn't want to write or that i am too busy with things. It's just that i felt a bit lost somewhere . Lets call it an introspection phase. Where you know that you are thinking about something but you are clueless about it. Confused?? Yes me too . So what i did in this introspection phase ? Well, i did think about where i have been,where i am and where i would be? Then read it somewhere that past is something which is long lost and future in unpredictable so just live in the present.So,my introspection zeroed down to my present and it's surly not like" everyday is a gift and that's why you call it present :P".

My present starts with an early morning ,where i always think about getting up @5 AM sharp to go to gym.But getting up realising that i am just not only too late for gym but also for catching office cab.Almost running to catch the bus and making all neighbours realise how good a sprinter i am( or for some " how can she be so late always) i catch the cab with " you are always late " glance from co-passengers.Then spending a fifth of a day travel to work and eating my heart out at breakfast(Eating always is a great stress buster). Reaching my desk and thinking about the last day argument(oops discussion) with boss,career path discussion with HR , a little serious discussion about " how i would like to put my energy on some other project which intrests me" discussion with big boss,his big no and my hopeless walk to my desk, where i am sitting just now. Then start doing something which i probably won't like but can't resist too and if i still want to do share all this grief online then wait.. blogger has been banned and so does the rest of " SOS" social sites.A few cribbing here and there @ lunch, tea and way back home.Shop my heart out on mood enhancing but self esteem reducing foods.Hogging on them while answering my roomies questions on being a "little chubby". Answriing my mom's calls too asking for an introspection again for current phase of life. Diverting mind off to idiot box or shall i say ekta kapoor box and realising that it's just adding more pain to my wounds.Switching off to facebook , further sneekingg into other's life and thinking if it could be mine ( when the truth is that they would be thinking the same).Desparate to pour out my emotion vsomewhere and here i am penning it down @1.30 in night . knowing for sure that i would be getting up late tomorrow again , missing gym and henceforth.

Confused .. so am i! Wish to be more regular at this space i hope i could.